Heartbreak

Why not turn your pain into a Hollywood movie prop?

One of the most fun things I ever did online was to ask people to look through their inboxes for emails from their worst break-ups, so that I could turn them into pretend old movie props. Telegrams, vintage postcards, calligraphed letters sealed with red wax — that sort of thing. Apparently it felt quite cathartic to some people, to see these digital words turned into palpable paper props: something that you could choose to either keep in your sock drawer forever, or just rip up.

I know we’ve not spoken for years and you’re soon to be a married woman, but if you ever change your mind just call me. Five years, ten, twenty, it doesn’t matter. Wherever you are in the world I’ll come and get you.

There was an urgency to Andrew’s email that felt worthy of a telegram. Traditionally charged by the word, telegrams were kept concise, and directors love using them in period filmmaking as urgent narrative devices. If you work on a film that’s set at any point between 1790 and 1970 you’ll probably make one, too. (I’m sorry that the same can’t be said for the humble facsimile: I can’t recall any 1980s movie in which the action was abruptly interrupted by a fax machine suddenly whirring into life. If you can think of something, let me know.)

Elizabeth:–

I am now sufficiently freaked out. I am not ready for a visit. I think we are way apart on our interaction. You want a relationship, I do not. I can’t do this any longer. I have been nervous and anxious ever since you started talking about coming to New York. Now, I am beside myself. I don’t want it.

I have been trying to relay this to you but I have failed. I am sorry we are not of the same mind on this. I understand it’s a big deal, but if you came here and stayed with me it would be a lie and I won’t do it.

Sincerely

Richard

I felt like Richard may have been someone who enjoyed full control of his professional life, but, in that moment, felt entirely out of control of his love life. So I gave him his own corporation and an officious 1960s headed notepaper design. I also took the artistic license to add a small and entirely missable detail, near the bottom of the page, that reads “REH:vb”.

“VB” stands for verbatim, and “REH” are his initials—meaning he dictated the letter out loud to his secretary. I do love a good mid-century office drama.

Ghosting
Getting any kind of email is arguably better than being ghosted, which is what happened to one woman who contacted me, when the man she was falling in love with stopped all communication out of the blue. “Sorry for disappearing!” said his last text message, when pressed. (Was the exclamation mark really necessary?) Ghosting is not uncommon, I know, but it’s hard to grapple with, and can eat up months of wondering what you did wrong. “But what if it wasn’t anything you did at all?” I suggested. She seemed unconvinced. So, I made him part of a society that would, hopefully, make it all make sense:

Happy Valentine’s Day
I only bring this up again now because I’m going to be talking about this project at an online design conference for Valentine’s weekend, along with some paper prop-making tips and insights into making stuff for film. There’s a live Q&A session afterwards, so if you have a terrible old email that you’d like to share, why not send it over and I’ll show you how to take your heartbreak and turn it into a Hollywood movie prop?

Tickets for the Design Prom are available here. This is an affiliate link, which means that if you book through this site I may earn a small commission. Although, tickets are FREE, so I have no idea how that works. There’ll be other good speakers too, and the whole thing is online, so you can join in from the safety of your own home. Hopefully see you there!

*All names and addresses have been changed and letters are printed with permission from all involved parties (except for the magician who was unavailable for comment). If you’d like to send me something then please make sure you have permission from the email’s original author. I know this is easier said than done!

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